The Secret Battle Inside You: Which Wolf Will You Feed?

The Tale of Two Wolves

Picture this: inside you, there's an epic battle raging between two wolves.

One wolf is a snarling beast, baring its fangs with fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, and ego.

The other is a noble creature, radiating joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

These two wolves are locked in a fierce fight for dominance within you. Which one will emerge victorious?

The answer, according to an old Cherokee legend, is simple yet profound: The one you feed.

The Subconscious Hunger Games

Here's the plot twist: your subconscious mind is ravenous for attention, but it's not picky. It doesn't discriminate between positive and negative input. It just wants to be fed, constantly.

Research reveals that a whopping 95% of our thoughts and actions are driven by subconscious processes [1]. That means the vast majority of your life is being dictated by an aspect of your mind that doesn't care if it's being nourished or poisoned!

Your subconscious will absorb and act upon whatever thoughts and emotions are most frequently and intensely fed to it [2][3]. It's like a mental sponge, soaking up your inner dialogue indiscriminately.

So the real question is, which wolf are you feeding with your precious attention and energy?

When the Negative Wolf Howls

When you feed the negative wolf, you're locked in a vicious cycle of self-sabotage.

Harsh inner criticism puts your body in full-on panic mode, complete with surging stress hormones, skyrocketing tension, and a brain that's suddenly about as creative as a rock [4][5][6].

Chronic negative self-talk has been linked to a horrifying host of issues like anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, sleep disturbances, and a weakened immune system [4][5][6]. Yikes.

Behaviorally, feeding the negative wolf manifests as hesitation, procrastination, and shrinking from opportunities. It's a surefire recipe for feeling stuck and helpless.

Unleashing the Power of the Positive Wolf

On the flip side, nourishing your inner dialogue with constructive thoughts is like giving yourself a mental superpower.

Research shows that positive self-talk is correlated with jedi-level stress management, enhanced problem-solving skills, increased resilience, and overall well-being [7][8][9][10].

People who make a habit of uplifting self-talk are better at coping with challenges, thinking creatively, and achieving their goals [11][8][9]. They become their own best allies and thrive.

Spotting the Wolf You're Feeding

Red Flags You're Cozying Up to the Negative Wolf:

Relentless self-criticism that goes way beyond helpful feedback
Doomsday thinking and worst-case scenario obsession
Dramatic "always/never" self-talk
Toxic comparisons to others
Downplaying wins and fixating on failures
Getting sucked into unproductive negative spirals

If any of these sound painfully familiar, don't despair. These patterns may feel like an inescapable part of who you are, but they're simply habits you can transform with awareness and practice.

Catching the Wolf Red-Handed:

Shining the light of awareness on your inner dialogue is the crucial first step to change. Here are some research-backed ways to catch negative thought patterns in the act [12][13][14]:

Tune into your body: Notice where tension pops up when negativity rears its head. Is your jaw clenched? Chest tight? Physical signals often reveal self-criticism before your conscious mind catches on.
Track the feelings: What emotions ride shotgun with your negative self-talk? Shame? Anxiety? Hopelessness? These are vital clues.
Spot numbing and distracting: Are you checking out emotionally or seeking excessive distractions? You may be trying to dodge a nasty inner critic.
Notice over-the-top self-soothing: Are you stress-eating the entire fridge or spending hours glued to social media? These behaviors can signal an attempt to shut out a harsh inner voice.
The BFF test: Would you say this to your best friend? If your self-talk fails the kindness test, that's a red flag.

Training the Positive Wolf

Baby Steps to Big Change:

Ready to put the negative wolf on a leash and unleash the positive wolf within? Science has your back. Here's what the research recommends:

Embrace both wolves: This isn't about toxic positivity. Both wolves have wisdom to offer [15][16]. Aim for balance, not elimination.
Judgment-free awareness: Notice negative patterns without pummeling yourself for having them. Self-compassion is essential for lasting change [13][8][17].
Start small: Tiny, consistent redirections add up. Trying to overhaul all your thinking at once is a recipe for burnout [2][3].
Find your authentic voice: Forget generic affirmations that feel false. Discover phrases that genuinely resonate, like "I'm learning and growing." [2]
Channel your inner witness: Practice observing thoughts without getting carried away by them. This mindfulness superpower is backed by loads of research [13][14].
Celebrate the small stuff: Look for little wins to appreciate about yourself and your progress. Gratitude and self-praise are scientifically proven to boost positive self-talk [13][8][18].

Tools to Tame Your Mental Wolves:

Set a daily intention: Before jumping into your day, take a moment to deliberately choose the tone of your inner dialogue.
Interrupt negative patterns: Derail negative thought spirals with movement, verbal cues, or sensory jolts like splashing cold water on your face.
Piggyback on existing habits: Attach new awareness practices to things you already do. Validate yourself while brushing your teeth. Check in with your self-talk on your commute.
Surround yourself with reminders: Place visual cues in your environment to trigger pauses to notice your inner dialogue. Sticky notes on your mirror, anyone?
Journal with curiosity: Ask your negative voice questions like, "What are you trying to protect me from?" or "What would it feel like to be my own cheerleader right now?"

Conclusion: Choosing Your Champion Wolf

The war between your inner wolves isn't a one-time, winner-takes-all showdown. It's a series of tiny, daily choices about which wolf you'll nourish with your focus and energy.

Understanding that your subconscious will scarf down any scrap of attention—positive or negative—gives you tremendous power to gradually mold your inner landscape from a battlefield to a sanctuary.

Research across psychology, neuroscience, and therapy resoundingly confirms the massive impact of your internal dialogues. Studies link positive self-talk to superpowers like unshakable resilience, laser problem-solving focus, lower stress, and profound well-being [7][8][9][10].

On the flip side, negative self-talk patterns are tied to kryptonite effects like anxiety, depression, health issues, and a floundering sense of self [4][5][6].

Your subconscious mind doesn't play favorites. It's a devoted servant, not a judgy critic. It absorbs and acts on whatever you mentally and emotionally focus on most [2][3].

This means you can satisfy your subconscious need for recognition while consciously choosing to spotlight the wolf that brings out your best, not your stressed.

Does this mean denying difficult feelings or slapping on a fake smile? Absolutely not. Growth isn't about being positive 24/7. It's about feeling the full rainbow of emotions and gradually building an inner world that empowers you [15][16].

Upgrading your self-talk isn't an overnight transformation—it's an ongoing practice of choosing which wolf to feed in each moment. With repetition, your nourishing new thought patterns WILL become second nature, as your malleable mind forms positive new grooves [8][17].

So start small. Start now. Notice one negative thought and choose, just for a moment, to acknowledge it without judgment and redirect your attention to something constructive. One tiny choice at a time, you'll be shaping your mind into an environment where the wise, compassionate wolf within can finally thrive.

Coaching challenge: Choose one technique from this article to play with this week. Start small, stay patient with yourself, and let's celebrate ANY progress in our next session!

References:

[1] Click2Pro. (2022). Subconscious mind decision making.

[2] Gail Marra Hypnotherapy. (2023). 9 interesting facts about your subconscious mind.

[3] Bajagai, K. P. (2023). Unlocking the subconscious mind: A journey to the depths.

[4] Dochas Psychology. (2021). Impact of negative self-talk.

[5] Whitehead, C. (2023). Self-talk: The hidden impact of inner dialogue on shaping your future.

[6] Mindful Health Solutions. (2022). 5 negative self-talk patterns: Origins and impacts on your mental health.

[7] Health Direct. (2022). Self-talk.

[8] Ridgeview Hospital. (2023). Importance of positive self-talk for well-being.

[9] Medical News Today. (2022). Positive self-talk.

[10] Mayo Clinic. (2023). Positive thinking: Stop negative self-talk to reduce stress.

[11] Thoughtfull. (2023). Master your inner dialogue and thrive from the inside out.

[12] EONetwork. (2023). 5 strategies to change your inner dialogue.