Thoughtful Tuesday: Building a Circle of Respect

Thoughtful Tuesday: Building a Circle of Respect

The people we choose to surround ourselves with have a profound impact on our lives. They influence our thoughts, our energy, and how we see ourselves. That’s why it’s essential to be intentional about who we allow into our inner circle.

Surround Yourself with the Right People

The "right people" are those who uplift you, respect your boundaries, and encourage your growth. They’re not perfect, but they bring out the best in you and support you in being your authentic self.

Reflect on your relationships: Are the people around you adding value to your life, or are they draining your energy? Surrounding yourself with positive influences creates a foundation for mutual respect and meaningful connection.

Learn to Respect Yourself

Self-respect is the cornerstone of every healthy relationship. When you honor your needs, set boundaries, and value your worth, you send a clear message to yourself and others: “I matter.”

Respecting yourself isn’t selfish—it’s a necessity. It means showing up for yourself with the same kindness and care you’d give a dear friend.

Learn to Demand Respect from Others

Demanding respect is about honoring your worth and teaching others how to treat you through your actions and boundaries.

You can do this by practicing:

Clear Communication:

When you form a relationship with another person, tell them who you are. Share what you value. Communication is king—don’t assume people will automatically understand you or know what you expect. If they go against one of your values or boundaries, gently let them know. Treat people the way you want to be treated.

For instance, if someone frequently interrupts you during conversations, you might say:

"Let me just finish this idea, and then I’d love to hear what you think."

"Hang on a sec, please, and let me finish."

"Could we pause for a second? I’d like to complete my thought before continuing the conversation."

Following Through on Boundaries:

Enforce your boundaries when they’re tested. For example, if a friend keeps canceling plans last minute, you might say:

"Can we have a heart-to-heart conversation? I’ve been inviting you to some things, which you’ve said yes to but haven’t shown up for. What’s going on?"

"Can we have some real talk? It’s disappointing when you don’t show up. What can we do differently so that this doesn’t keep happening?"

"I have a really busy schedule. It would really help me if you could give me as much notice as possible if you’re going to cancel."

Choosing Action Over Argument:

Meet people where they are. If the conversation has broken down, then it’s not serving its purpose anymore. Instead of continuing with a conversation that isn’t constructive, you might need to walk away.

For example, if a colleague speaks to you disrespectfully, you might calmly state:

"Can we continue this discussion later? I need to take a break."

"Let’s table this for now and come back to it later."

"I feel like we’ve gotten a bit off-track; let’s regroup later."

And then walk away.

Stepping Back From a Relationship When Necessary:

When someone repeatedly disrespects your boundaries, stepping back from the relationship might be necessary. Respecting yourself means not staying in spaces where your worth isn’t recognized.

Remember, if you’ve previously communicated your values and boundaries, there’s no need to over-explain. It’s OK to simply say:

"I need to focus on what’s right for me right now."

"I am making a choice to move in a different direction."

"I have decided to step away from this."

"I am choosing to focus on my own growth and well-being."

Reflection Exercise

Take a few moments today to reflect on these questions:

What qualities do the “right people” have? Who brings out the best in you? How do you want to be supported and encouraged? Who do you find draining? Who adds value to your life? Who accepts you as you are? Who is trying to change you into someone you aren’t?

What are your values and needs? What are your boundaries? How are you showing respect to yourself? Are there areas where you could do more to honor your needs?

Is there a relationship in your life where you feel your boundaries or respect are not being honored? What steps could you take to address this?

Respect begins with you—respecting your own needs, values, and worth. When you honor yourself, you set the standard for how others treat you. Surrounding yourself with the right people, learning to respect yourself, and creating clear boundaries are acts of self-love and empowerment.

Remember, relationships should be mutual—they should uplift and support both people involved. By reflecting on who you allow into your circle and how you show up for yourself, you create a foundation for meaningful, respectful connections.

This week, let respect guide your actions. Honor your own worth, communicate clearly, and nurture the relationships that align with your values. When you prioritize respect—both for yourself and others—you invite greater harmony, authenticity, and growth into your life.